masturbatory accoutrements means: Pretentious term used to describe one’s private collection of items that enhance masturbation. Dirty magazines, dildoes, lubricant etc. This is a way to describe a partner who doesn’t care about sexual pleasure. It can also be used as a way to express how you felt in sexual relationships with a selfish or untalented partner. (in Community Dictionary, added by Cedric Townsend)